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July 4th, 2008
07:22 pm
I am having a great week.
Made a new friend (who's lovely).
Saw a friend of mine last night who commented I looked different. After going through the possible reasons (clothing, hair, weight loss), we couldn't quite pin down what it was.
I'm pretty sure it's because I'm smiling.
We thank thee, Cthulhu, for the bounty of life pried from your bloody, tentacled maw.
In gratitude, we shall spread thy word to many an ear.
In your name:
IA! IA! FTHAGAN!
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July 2nd, 2008
04:23 pm
Cthulhu loves me this I know...
... Cause the Necronomicon tells me IA! IA! CTHULHU F'THAGN!
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June 22nd, 2008
05:05 am
I love my life.
And I mean it.
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June 19th, 2008
05:10 pm
"Your first mistake was getting rid of the mechs" -Nick
Comment on Mark and I's progress on a Don Quixote retelling. Currently, he's Italian on a moped with an umbrella and a forlorn secretary.
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May 28th, 2008
03:09 am
Group thinks wi-fi is causing them physical harm and want it banned.
Of course we'll ban a tech that has shown absolutely NO proof of harm over several studies even with higher powered devices.. Not counting your badly done attempts at using pseudo-science.
You want a fix? Tinfoil hats. Problem solved.
I also found a website for people suffering from "electrosensitivity", which is hillarious.
DC electric fields are known as static electricity. This includes electrical energy in the air and on synthetic fabrics. Static electricity contains both positive ions (bad for your health) and negative ions (good for your health).
Evidently they've already discovered the wonders of tinfoil if they can sit in front of a computer long enough to create and host a website made of pure Stupid.
It reminds of this woman.
"We have a plasma screen TV because the old style one gave out gamma rays, which brought on my reaction"
Yees... which means you are more sensitive than a Geiger counter. Aren't you special?
Stupid people... everywhere... where's a flood when you need one...
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May 3rd, 2008
12:17 pm
Monkey is in a coma.
Initially, I was annoyed at my incompetent actions, then outright mournful. Something more than a tool or automation of processes, she's something that connects me to the sublime shared consciousness. Thankfully, I've temporary options open to me and I'm not entirely cut off from this realm of humanity without limitation.
As per monkey herself, it seems that she didn't like the new hindbrain I got her, or perhaps it was removing her exoskeleton for a cleaning that caused this deep sleep. Either way, she refuses to wake and won't display even a flicker of life on her face. Not even to access her subconscious, I've no idea of her functionality.
There are so many possible causes, I don't even know where to start. Is it her heart, brain, eyes or her nervous system that's damaged? I've got a spare brain, and in a pinch, I can borrow a heart from a dormant creature, but her entire nervous system? The frame on which she is spread? Thankfully, it's an older, common model and not a hard find, but is it worth the struggle?
At this point I wonder if it's worth it to spend all the time and effort to save her. While she's a creature that's served me well, time is starting to place her firmly in a second class position. If I stop now, I'll be able to grow a new creature within two months. One that can be perfectly crafted from the ground up, rather than cobbled together over time. I was already considering this path, but not sure of what options to choose in the myriad of machines.
How much loyalty do we owe our servants? While they serve blindly, without question, only subtle entropic humour when failures do occur, does this mean we should return the devotion they lavish on us? Are they a transparent means to an end, a connection to something that becomes greater than master and servant combined?
Even if Monkey does get replaced by a more powerful model, she'll not be cast aside. There are still things to be done, possible ways and means to salvage her into something useful. Perhaps an archival mind or a routing butler, either way, I can't bear to throw her to the void.
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April 22nd, 2008
10:24 pm
Terry Gilliam needs to direct a film biography of Richard Feynman.
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April 15th, 2008
07:05 pm
BigDog
Work safe, sanity safe, YouTube video of a robot currently under development.
Non-Humanoid robot. Some people report it as being "creepy" or "unsettling".
For an example, watch at 1:25: It walks across ice, slips but recovers itself.
I find this creature to beautiful on several levels
Reactions?
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March 30th, 2008
09:09 pm
In order to prepare for an April of healthy eating (Minimal meat, lots of vegs, fruits and nuts, no processed foods or sugar) I decided to remind my body why I was doing this.
A cream egg and half bag of mini eggs later: I feel like I'm going to throw up. My head feels buzzy in a nasty, almost post-alchol way. This sweet, cloying taste in my mouth won't leave, even when washed with acetone coffee.
I'm saying goodbye to sugar, I don't think I'm going to be back.
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March 23rd, 2008
06:18 am - Zombie Jesus Day
What the fuck is up with the French and GIANT FLYING BELLS bringing chocolate?
Not that rabbits with chocolate making skills are much better...
I'm suprised the Australians still use rabbits as a symbol of Easter. They hate the buggers as much as they hate cats.
(If can recall correctly, they try not to show cats in domestic soap operas lest it encourage people to keep more moggies.)
It would be easy (and actually quite logical) to use some of the indigenous wildlife in place of a rabbit.
Easter Platypus! Adorable, lays eggs, often hard to find! Actually makes sense! Perfect for an Easter symbol!
That said, Zombie Jesus giving us chocolate doesn't make much sense either. Kuru from sacrement makes more sense.
Happy Convoluted Pagan Fertility Festival That Now Has Crosses, Prion Diseases, Rabbits, Chocolate, Monotremes And Zombies.
Current Location: Work
Current Music: Pink Floyd
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February 12th, 2008
04:02 am - He's not on the milk carton, he's in the orange juice.
My orange juice has fish listed in the ingredients.
"Oasis Omega-3 Orange Juice" has fish in it.
.
Current Location: Work
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January 30th, 2008
08:54 pm
Suddenly, I really REALLY want to ride my bicycle.
I miss my cannondale.
It's black, shiny, sexy and feels amazing when at full speed screaming down a mountain road.
Damn it, I'm actually wanting the rain to end.
Who would be up for cycling to Wreck come summer?
*I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike!*
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December 25th, 2007
08:27 pm - Fish fish fish fish. Eating fish!
They are selling transgenic fish in American petstores.
Called GloFish. Not just colourful, but actually emitting light under normal and UV lighting.
(Glofish + UV light = Living Lava Lamp)
They look like goddamn candy.
I'm freaking out because they are selling them a few miles away from me, but it's illegal to import them into Canada.
That and I've got no way to bring them back alive, considering fish will die if kept in plastic bags for too long.
Every so often, I pause and realize I'm living in the future. Then something like this pops up and I suddenly feel that we've done nothing more than build on old tech by adding glitter and googly eyes. 50 year old tech, now with non-slip grips, smaller dimensions and a new coat of paint.
I think I'm going to review my plans to implant an MP3 player in my chest.
Current Location: glofish, fish, animals, want, pets, transgenic
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December 8th, 2007
03:18 am - Watt?
I'm currently in the process of upgrading Monkey.
I've already got a new brain for her and have tracked down some lovely new eyes, all I need is a heart that can provide enough juice to keep her fully pumped.
Problem being: I'll be increasing the old girl's wattage by around 200% when all is said and poked.
Hearts honestly aren't that much of a problem these days, thankfully it's pretty damn standardized and while she's a handcrafted simian, the heart is merely a matter of wandering into a butcher's boutique for something with magnets and the right rating.
Problem being: Warthog and the Old Goat.
Sitting on the same circuit, they grudgingly share wattage with Monkey, but knock everyone down when forced to share with each other. This then entails a lengthly process of gaining passage to the Juice Tree, tugging on limbs and generally fondling a capricious and sensitive beast until it lets current flow down the vines.
I know Warthog pulls 1100 watts, but I've no idea what Old Goat pulls. Monkey and Warthog can share without issue (except Monkey's eye's water), and Monkey is pulling around 300 watts (Almost 400 when she's got her face lit). So Old Goat must be pulling at least 500 watts.
This isn't good, since that means when Monkey gets all dolled up, she's not going to so happy to share with Warthog anymore, and Warthog drinks of juice at anytime of the day the stomachs of his keepers need to be shut up.
So now I'm faced with either redoing the ecosystem just for one Monkey, which considering the various niches and dependent ecologies, is not going to be easy.
I miss the days when servants ate food like ours, didn't need to be upgraded and didn't age quite so fast.
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November 24th, 2007
10:38 pm - Internet in Less than Six Words
How do you see the internet? Can you describe it in 6 words or less?
Examples:
Wellspring of Knowledge without admission fee
Digging for Atlantis under New Jersey
Spleens: Buy One, Get One Free!
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August 17th, 2007
02:39 am
It's refreshingly horrible to learn that old habits come back with a bit of prodding.
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August 11th, 2007
August 8th, 2007
12:27 am
Random things:
Why does "Poet Porn" only give me 871 hits when I google it?
Wow, Melanie Safka is amazingly beautiful.
(Bonus points to those who know her without using Wiki)
I'm investigating the possibility of going to Burning Man, even though it's very late, because my life has not had enough odd lately.
Less talk, more monkey.
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August 3rd, 2007
12:58 am
Anne and I were surfing teh interwebs for information on a structural genetic defect which had almost %50 of it's case (worldwide) in the Southern United States. (Still haven't found it, if anyone knows, please do comment. Was something to do with inbreeding incase you couldn't have guessed...)
Instead of finding information on the breeding habits of the American Southern family, we found something on the Law practices of the American Lawyer.
http://www.alabamabirthdefectlawyers.com
http://www.alabamabraininjuryattorneys.com
http://www.alabamawrongfuldeathattorneys.com
http://www.alabamamalpracticelawyer.com
http://www.caraccidentattorneyalabama.com
ALL of these are registered to the same person.
ALL of these have the EXACT same template.
Thankfully, http://www.alabamainbreedingattorneys.com wasn't taken.
Current Location: Can't see, laughing too hard
Current Mood: Dying from laughter
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July 19th, 2007
09:47 pm - Worst. Call. Ever.
Today I got the worst call I could never imagine.
For those of you that don't know, I'm now working Tech Support.
This means I get all manner of people calling in on a daily basis with any number of problems ranging from fried modems to our servers going down.
An older gentleman phoned in reporting that he couldn't receive email. Normally, this is a very common problem with several easy fixes.
After ascertaining that his connection was working fine, I got him to send an email to himself, as this would quickly check where the problem might be.
He got his own email fine.
While in the process of sending him an email from my side, he revealed that today was his birthday and he was expecting emails from his seven children.
He got the email I sent him fine.
His email was working just fine.
As the call closed, I wished him a happy birthday.
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